Why is it difficult to date an Indian woman in general?

Why is it difficult to date an Indian woman in general?

I was arrested for talking to an Indian woman.

First, FIR is a police report in India, and it means First Informational Report.

So I just got home after a tiring day.

I have some knee problems these days. I went to see a specialist. He saw my X-ray report and recommended some exercises, along with the medications and told me to come back in two weeks.

My mother was there with me and suffers from arthritis. She was receiving her diagnosis while I was already free.

I saw this doctor, she looked good. I did not approach her, because her colleagues and patients surrounded her. We had good eye contact a couple of times. My mom told me it would take a few more minutes, and I encouraged her to take her time.

In about 15 minutes, this doctor, this woman ... left her room and walked to the stairs. I followed her and basically asked her to stop.

I for
She: yes?
Me: We should meet this weekend.
She: why?
Me: We will have fun. Maybe have a cup of coffee or something!
She: Get lost ...

I walked away and sat on the couch, waiting for my mom to come back.

In a few minutes, the security chief asked me to enter his office. I went there. Apparently, the woman had complained that he had harassed her. His boss, the senior doctor (SD) was also there.

SD: What did you tell him?
Me: Who?
SD: To her ... (pointing to her)
Me: What is it for you?
SD: I'll tell you what it is for me, punk. I'll call the police.
Me: I simply asked her out, she said no and I walked away.
SD: (To your security staff) Don't let it go.

Then I went back and sat in my chair. In a couple of minutes, my mom entered the room and said she was ready to leave. We left, but because my knees hurt, I didn't walk fast. In less than 30 seconds, almost 30 security people surrounded me, four or five jumped me, and dragged me hard again.

At this point, my mom went crazy. She began to cry, beg and plead. She didn't know what the deal was. She began to cry hysterically. With all that commotion, all eyes were on me. I could literally feel the heat of hatred of all those eyeballs, but I thought, "It doesn't matter. I didn't do anything wrong."

In that drag, my shirt was also torn.

Whatever is.

I went back inside and sought to speak with a senior doctor. I thought that maybe the SD with whom I had spoken before would want to reason. But when he saw me, he told me he would destroy me. His words, not mine.

My mother is crying and begging now, right now. She tells me to apologize. I say: "Look, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. But if I stood up or crossed a line, I apologize. I didn't want to disrespect anyone."

The police arrive. Some cops. They ask me what happened. Then they ask the girl what happened. I don't know what she told them. I told them exactly what had happened, and I was pretty sure they were on my side seeing that nothing had really happened.

Behold, the cops sided with the doctors. What's more, some of his friends intervene (as they told me later) and told police that he had also been "looking" at other women.

The Indian government has started a helpline for women, where any woman can seek help if they bother her. This happened right after the brutal case of rape in Delhi a couple of months ago. Apparently, she (or the SD) had called that helpline and told them that he had harassed her, abused her, touched her and held her hand. I know that even I went to shake my hand.

Now they were waiting for the husband and father of the "victim" to arrive to present an FIR. My mother was going crazy looking for forgiveness. Honestly, I didn't know what to do. I tried to tell my mom to go out, and let me take care of her, but even she started to blame me for being an idiot. Whatever is!

In unison, everyone agreed that inviting her out was outraging her modesty, and that she had been completely unethical. Moral surveillance is one of Delhi's police hobbies anyway, and apparently that of all Indians who can speak.

Finally the husband arrived.

I had expected him to respond madly and half with sanity. He chose total madness. He approached me and slapped me on the ear without hearing a word. The police did nothing to stop him, and I had to reason with him with statements like "Look, I didn't touch her" and "I didn't want to disrespect him" and "I didn't know she was married." He did not calm down.

In the end, after all this trouble, a FIR was filed, and I was immediately arrested. This happened around 11 a.m. They took me to a police station and put me behind bars.

As you can imagine, my mother was hysterical. He called all my aunts and uncles and sought their help. I don't know what happened next, but all I know is that someone rescued me. They had to pay a good amount of money to a lawyer to fix it.

We do not bribe ... We obtained the bond, and the money was spent on the lawyer's fees and the amount of the bond.

I have a criminal mind in accordance with all my family. I saw the same hate reflected in the eyes of my uncles and aunts and mom as I had observed in doctors and nurses.

I arrived home after being locked up in prison for 7 hours. He had not eaten anything since last night.

I've decided never to approach women again ... at least while I'm in India ... Even if that means I'll never have sex again. Women have too much power in the system. I don't know how much money and time I will end up losing in this court case. I am pretty sure they will confiscate my passport for the duration of the trial. And the trials in this country last decades.

I am an outcast on many levels.

I'm numb and I don't know what I did to deserve this.

I don't even know what I'm looking for here ... Maybe it's a bit of compassion, since nobody around me seems to think I'm innocent and didn't commit any crime. Even my best friend said "I told you so!"

Yes, I am very depressed. I am insensitive.

Yours sadly
A man who was a victim of an "indigenous woman victim" today, and is crying

PS If you have any suggestions, I will be happy to receive it.

P.P.S. That is why it is so difficult to date Indian women. Forget about leaving, you can't even talk to them without being arrested. Apparently, they don't hesitate to exercise their new found power well.

P.P.P.S. Feel free to play and share with anyone.

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The first is the first. I left very important information in my original post. I mentioned that the wife of that woman slapped me in public view and with police officers watching but not interfering. It is true.

What is also true is that this woman's father threw me a death threat, again in full view of the public, and in front of all these policemen. He said: “I will cut your head into two pieces. I will cut your throat. I say it in front of the police and I'm not afraid. "

Yes ... so inviting a woman out is a crime, but hitting a man, or issuing a death threat, in public view, in front of the police, with a closed circuit television is not !

Understandable. NO.

What do the cops do? Specifically they tell my mom that, “We are here to destroy your life. We will not stop at anything until we destroy it.


I am anonymous. And I decided that, unless I fought against them, I would remain anonymous. But here is some information about me ...

I do not follow the "unsaid" rules of society. I am not politically correct, and if what I feel offends someone, so be it. That is my general philosophy. I follow the law, it doesn't break it. I follow it regardless of my own desires and those are all the limits in which I contain myself.

And I hope the law protects my interests and rights.

This is India. India is supposed to be a country with a central constitution and a government. What you or I or anyone else thinks is "wrong" or "unethical" or "stupid" has nothing to do with what I can legally do.

The question, as many people do not seem to have noticed, is not which would be the most effective collection line. Or what would be the most fluid approach. The issue is legality and freedom of expression.

I am allowed to talk to any woman at random and invite her out, sexually or platonically, without harassing her. That is allowed me to do legally. Talking with someone and making an offer is not illegal, according to the Indian constitution. Not even an offer of a sexual nature. My offer to the doctor, having coffee with me, was as platonic as it seems. I drink coffee with men and women, and I am a kind of coffee connoisseur.

What I am not allowed to do is annoy or harass a woman (or someone, really).

Sexual abuse is "the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or inappropriate sexual advances or activities (especially women or children)." As soon as that woman made it clear that my offer was not desired, I left. End of story.

There was no sexual abuse there.
There was no harassment of any kind.
Without groping, without stalking, and no pressure was applied.

I do not do that.

Anyway, I respect myself too much to pursue a selfless woman (or a selfless business perspective or a selfless employer).

I don't care if some people think that what I did was wrong. Your thinking has nothing to do with the law and my rights as a citizen of this country. At least theoretically.

Similarly, if someone felt offended, that does not mean that I did something illegal. End of story, goodbye, end.

So this is for all those who think that my approach was "doomed to failure" or "creepy at best." Your opinion is NOT the law. And I DID NOT violate the law.

The police are here to protect the law. And to protect those who don't violate it. They failed in their work.


That is what happened.



The cause of the advancement of women and gender equality.

I am in favor of helping women grow and express themselves as human beings. I am in favor of gender equality. But at some point, we (as a nation, or at least as a city) seem to have confused the abolition of misogyny with the promotion of misery.

The fact that he is "against" the harassment of women does not mean that he is automatically "in favor" of punishing men, without giving them a fair chance to say their side.

This is pure misandria.

This is too much power for any gender. Think about it…

Reverse the roles here. If a woman stopped a man and asked him to have a cup of coffee with her, and he filed a complaint of harassment ... police, friends, other men and his own friends and family would make fun of him. He would be considered crazy. Just marinate on that for a minute.

How many times have you heard of a woman who was thrown into a prison for inviting a man out?

No matter how creepy it is, usually if you leave a man alone, nothing happens. Personally, I was harassed and harassed by a woman in my past, and even back then; They told me he was the culprit and that he should have been the author.

Now, many people seem to be working under the deception that this is somehow my fault because my collection line was not the most effective.

Let me tell you something ... These are extreme double standards. This is similar to your saying that it was okay for a girl to have been raped in a group just because she was wearing a skirt. I even read the phrase "I was asking for it" somewhere. Try saying that about a woman who was wearing a miniskirt and was raped.

This is cause for concern!

We are not empowering women by enslaving men to the agenda of seeking capricious attention from a random woman. We are weakening society as a whole.

If your society despises direct, honest and direct communication, then so be it. I don't care what people think of me. But if that society begins (illegally and in direct contradiction with its own constitution) punishing me for exhibiting such behavior, then that society is destined to lose men like me. Either to your own bureaucracy driven by the agenda that punishes such behavior, or to another nation. In my case, it will be later.

I refuse to harass a woman for days, if not weeks, and then I join the same gym as her to be "fighting" with her. I am NOT that weasel. I am not a stalker.

I am not ashamed to have my wishes, and I do not bother anyone if they are not interested.

But the question here is freedom of expression. I didn't bother, I didn't stalk, and I didn't even "joke" like they do in Bollywood movies. I didn't persist and I didn't even stay.

They still explained to me that what I did was "wrong." The cops here do not realize that their "mistake" is not necessarily "illegal." And not many people commenting here, or crowding in that hospital that day.

This is cause for concern.

Somewhere on the Internet, there is a woman who wrote: "I don't believe in her story because nobody can act so cold and patient under such pressure." My answer to her: "Only because you have the emotional recovery capacity of a teaspoon ..."

If you treat me badly for being sincere and honest, then it could be you, your brother, son or any other man ...

I act and take the consequences. I face the music, and I only apologize if I realize that I did something wrong. I try never to lose my mind and always strive to be exemplary in all my deals.

But in any case, the fact is that any man can be treated that way. And the consequences of approaching a woman could be "severe" in India.

Women have too much power when no one will listen to a man. All a woman has to do is pick up the phone and tell the police that harassed her. And you are done!

Even if you did NOTHING. No one around me is trying to understand my point of view.

I am guilty by default.

People look at me like I'm a monster that raped a six-year-old boy. I heard a policewoman say: “If today you are doing this, tomorrow you will start holding hands. Then, the day after tomorrow, he will begin to grope, and then, to rape.

My (purely sarcastic) response to this: “If she is talking about men and is working in a job that is mainly masculine, then she lives half her life surrounded by strange men. Today she chooses to be surrounded by them, tomorrow she will flirt with them. Then, one day later, he will start sleeping with them and destroy many families. "This is not what I think, just to make it clear, and this comment is simply sarcastic. It was made to expose the fallacy in his argument against me. .

And I have enough common sense not to REALLY pronounce statements like these in front of all those people who want to consume and destroy my life. I kept my mouth shut, as any rational man would.

Anyway ...

In such environments, men's lives, or at least their reputation and careers are being destroyed by the undue power granted to women.

This is a HUGE cause.

One needs a simple look at the amount of attention this response has received in less than a couple of days to see how many men realize that it could have been them in my place.

It is a cause, and someone has to fight.

Having said that, this is NOT my fight. As of now, the charges against me have been dropped and I will continue to live my life as if nothing had happened.


Because I am leaving India in the very near future, never to return. This is a great injustice, but this is not my problem. This is a great cause for concern for men living in India, and I will not be one of those men, very soon.

My life is accelerating right now. I mean professionally. The rewards for fighting and winning this fight are not worth the price I will have to pay. It has become very clear that I am the obvious culprit as soon as someone hears about this incident. I am NOT willing to compromise my professional life, since I will not even stay here, or I will return here.

I could have started this fight and spearheaded. But only if they had not dropped the charges against me. Then they would have forced me to fight, and I would have fought against them.

In that case, I would fight with them with nails and teeth, and I would fight for this cause with all my strength. I would have avoided anonymity and risked everything. My life, my career, my relationships, my social status, my reputation, my money, my years, my youth ... everything. I would have fought until the end of my life if I had to.

But they have withdrawn the case. And I will return to my life as if nothing had happened.

"Blessed is a man who fights for a cause"

Having a mission in life ... a cause you can fight for ... that's the best thing that can happen to you. Most people who suffer unnecessarily and without mercy at the hands of the system / mentality / criminals take their cause and fight. They do it because this is the most miraculous and transformative thing that happens in their life.

In my case, I already have my cause. I already have a mission to which I have dedicated my life. I already have a purpose for my life. And even with all this drama, my purpose continues to sound and emit mental beeps every minute. It demands my attention and demands my time. It demands my energy and my money. It demands me I am already committed to a purpose and fight for a cause. Whether or not my current cause is as large and potentially as shocking as this is inconsequential.

Because I am a man and I keep my commitments.

Three years ago I committed myself to a cause, and I am not in any way or form, nor am I going to dedicate myself to another in this life ... Unless I have no other choice.

If I have to pay a price in terms of some slaps, lost relationships, lost reputation, guilty stature, lost labels and resources, but I can continue with my ongoing commitment, I will pay it.

Spreading awareness about the sensitivity of this problem is not in my plan. Not yet. And I will stop at nothing to make sure that I can fulfill my ongoing mission in life without a major deviation, such as fighting for this cause.

And that is why I never wanted to resume this cause.

Again, since I'm out of here in a few months anyway, and I'm going forever, this is NOT my fight. But it is yours, and they have warned you what Indian police are capable of.

Finally, I am NOT willing to let my family pay for this fight. Even if this was my fight, it certainly isn't theirs. I don't have much money right now (my career has just begun to take off) and I am NOT about to use your money or resources for this fight. It is not something I would ever do.


Where are the women in all this?

I realized, as some men pointed out, that there are very few women who vote or comment on my answer. And if you are perplexed, don't be. It's natural. I always knew that only a rare woman would support this cause. Publicly, at least. And almost all the women who comment will find flaws in my approach, as if that had something to do with the law! But this is to be expected.

Don't ask me why ... Not because I can't tell you, but because it's too sexist. It is that side of the truth that everyone actively avoids, especially in politically correct environments. I? I don't fear the repercussions of saying the things I know. But I will not do it because, once again, the juice is not worth it.

What makes me the designated expert?

Well, as you can imagine ... I've had more than one part of the lion when it comes to sexual and platonic connections and relationships with women. You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but you would know instinctively if you saw me.

As it also happens, I love women. I still do it ... even after what that particular woman did to me. I love women. Not all, but some. I feel that women enrich my life. They are the source of one of the greatest joys of my life, if not THE GREATEST source (which is my passion for my purpose).

I am also an avid student of psychology, gender dynamics and politics. I spend so much time reading about these things that things are clear to me. Also, many women confess things to me that are so politically incorrect that they can drive you crazy. It is more counter intuitive than most men can imagine.

So i know.

But I will keep the explanation, because that is irrelevant. The relevant thing is that this is to be expected, and totally surprising.


The issue of non-reportable Indian women

I fell in love with an Indian girl. She marries another boy her father chose for her. My heart bled for her. Not as much now as he did some time ago, but I still wonder how I bought all his promises. I always knew that I should not trust the words of any woman.

Indian women are fine. Like any other race or nationality.

There is a bell curve. Most of the average Indian women are attached to stereotypes. Stereotypes did not come out of the void. They are here for a reason. That is, most stereotypes are true.

Very few Indian women are exceptionally good. Very few are exceptionally bad. In this case of being hit, I ran into an exceptionally bad woman. And I agree that that doesn't make all women exceptionally vindictive and hateful.

Does the average Indian woman behave as she did? NO. Absolutely not. I have come closer than my fair share of randomly unknown women to drink coffee, or even something more discreet. Many accepted my offer, most did not. The average Indian woman was never as vindictive as this "doctor."

But the fact is that the average Indian woman has too much power. In Delhi, at least, women have been given too much power. And the power corrupts. Let me explain ...

If only one woman chooses to do this to you ... through hundreds of approaches during decades of flirting, it can threaten the existence of your life.
And it is not worth risking your career and reputation for any amount of love, sex, tenderness, affection, loyalty or vertigo. At least not for me.
Not even if I could find the most loyal, loving and tender woman in India, would I risk my career and reputation to find her. It is too great a risk when the police ignore basic human rights and the constitution.
Where freedom of expression is simply a myth, speaking is not what I would do. Again, this must change, but this is not my fight.

As long as men are delinquents by default and women are victims by default ... YES, a HUGE RESULTING YES, Indian women have no data. And I will continue to say, inaccessible, or even impossible to see.

Someone told me a story about how he was beaten just by looking at a woman he was attracted to. Just by looking at her. Don't get close, don't talk, don't make an offer ... just look.

The risk of dating Indian women is too high.

The risk of approaching women is too high.

And so is the risk of looking at them.

My situation: where are we now?

My parents and relatives organized a lawyer for me. I was specifically and clearly told to "bow your head" and "fall at your feet" and "beg for forgiveness." I should not say a word unless they spoke to me, and I should write and sign a document saying that I would not. Do you ever invite another woman to a date.

He didn't know if he could fall at his feet or apologize. I thought the best I could handle is: “I apologize if I offended you. It was not my intention. "It is very difficult for me to say things that I do not say with authenticity.

And that is exactly what I said.

Although I did sign the paper ... Because that's the truth. I intend to invite a woman to an appointment while in India. No woman is worth the risk, as I said. Soon I will go abroad, and that is when I will connect with women again. But Indian women cannot have my love, since I do not see the system change at any time to improve in the near future.

Maybe Indian women abroad can.

However, one thing I won't do is act like a coward. I will not deny my sexual desires. I will not deny that I WANT to love and be loved. I will not be "only friend" of a woman, hoping that one day she will start a sexual relationship with me. Just because some people feel uncomfortable, I'm not going to change for the WORST. And in my opinion (the only one that counts in MY life) hides the fact that you are sexually attracted to women ... and that you are talking to her because you are sexually attracted to ... That is cowardice. Weasel and manipulator. And I will not do it. Then he is trying to make a woman love you or be interested in you.

My strategy is to eliminate people of low interest from my life from the beginning.

So far it has definitely been worth it. My approaches only work with women who are so attracted to me that I really can't go wrong with them. And that's great because THAT is what I want. I am not even remotely interested in a woman who is not interested in me and who is inflexible. I want to be rejected when there is not enough interest.

Sure, I like meeting a woman before getting involved. Actually, if you knew me personally, you would know that my standards transcend almost any other man you could have met or observed. And that's why I invite women to have coffee with me ... to meet them. "First dates are interviews," as Van Wilder rightly said. That's where I get to meet women. But I asked this doctor to go out for pure sexual attraction, and you can't deny that.

I also want a woman to reject me immediately if she is not attracted to me or is not available. A direct approach like this helps me save time. It requires a massive trust, and I have it. People who have offered me advice on how to pick up women ... save it. Try to act boldly as I did and do it, and then we'll talk.

Again, denying that I approached her simply out of pure sexual attraction would be a lie. In addition, I feel it would be a great insult to me, my sexuality and the greatness of all the great men of ancient and modern or contemporary history.

I am a man and I own my wishes.

I was born with them. I will die with them. And there is no bullshit that nobody can do to change them.

I will not lie about them either.

I know my role My role is to be the aggressor. I can control and manage my sexuality well. I do not inflict pain or harm. I don't try to "turn" someone into an interested perspective. I just keep going. I never press or persist in case of disinterest.

Most importantly, it didn't break the laws.

But in India the law is not constant or objective. It changes depending on who judges. And the cops really have no idea.

But I refuse to live and love in a community where my natural desires amount to punishment. My gifts are better granted elsewhere.

Then I will leave here. The price I pay to be born as a child in India is that I will run out of love for an unpredictable time.

Penalty fee! So be it!

Hoping to remain anonymous
A real man in a world of cowards

PD It's over. Everything is in the past for me. Tomorrow morning, I will begin to act as if nothing had happened. I have to get things to date. This event has really added fuel to my fire, when it comes to ambition. Now more than ever I am very motivated to do well professionally and get out of here. Maybe in the end, it was a worthwhile lesson. For me, as well as for you with luck.

I am glad to have remained anonymous and acted rationally. Now I have no more time, energy or money to lose in this incident.

For better and worse, this has sharpened my approach. So that is the positive side.

P.P.S. I will not answer many comments from now on, as there are too many. I have addressed many problems raised by people, and that is all.

I came here looking for compassion, and found it.

I found support and discovered that I was not alone. Thank you.

I also read some funny comments, and I am also grateful for them.

But most importantly, I am grateful that there is a community of people where intelligence and logic are valued above emotion and obsession.

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